This is getting as bad as my journal.  Months will go by before I write another entry and then I'm left apologizing to ...who?  My journal?  No, I guess I'm apologizing to my future self who wants to look back and read my entries from my younger days.  Or maybe my kids after I'm gone.  I'm apologizing for not being more diligent in keeping up with the ins and outs of every day.  Usually though it's just that nothing has changed in the days that have past.  Or that everything has changed and then time brings it all back to exactly where you were before, so it seems like nothing has changed.  Either way the sad truth is that I'm still here having progressed in no way except in time.  

I would like to say thank you to all of those who expressed concern and have spent time and energy thinking about us through the whole fire incident, most especially the MOPs group.  I do not know how I would have gotten through it all without you.  Not only the ones who brought dinners or took Rosslyn for a playdate, though the generosity of that blew my mind, but all of those who called, emailed, or stopped by to help.  You are forever in my heart.  Thank you.

The fact that now my blog has been viewed by those from MOPs and others that I did not realize has caused me to shy away from my original meaning of posting.  I'm not yet comfortable with spreading word about our financial struggles with those that I see everyday.  I should not worry about being so open, but I am very proud, too proud I know, but proud nonetheless.  

Still, I will come back and continue to be the charming writer that some of you think that I am.  I appreciate the time you have given me to throw my internal temper tantrum, but the time for wallowing is over.  I actually think I have changed my mind from the statement I made at the beginning of the post.  I have progressed in one way:  I have become just slightly more aware and awake than yesterday.